Relationships are not always easy. People break up for a myriad of reasons and sometimes, it has nothing to do with whether you are a good or bad person. In fact, a lot of breakups happen between two people who seem to be very compatible. That’s because while they are great for a relationship, chemistry and kindness are not enough to keep you going for the long haul. One big argument and the whole thing can implode.
Here’s the thing with arguments that are not being handled properly. Not only could they possibly lead to you feel the need to immediately pull the plug on your relationship, it can also lead to anger and resentment. So, if as a couple you do not learn how to communicate your differences properly, your little arguments can end up being the death knell to your relationship.
Luckily, a recent study has a suggestion for you. So, if you want to have fruitful arguments that help you grow together as a couple and understand each other better, then this research has the answer.
A study published by Amie M. Gordon and Serena Chen in the Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology reveals the magic phrase that can end your arguments or at least make sure you are moving forward. All you have to say is: “I get where you’re coming from.”
In the study, couples were asked the one thing that makes them unhappy and frustrated in their relationship, and one of the most common ones are not feeling understood by their partner.
In other words, if the only thing you try and do during an argument is to come up with an epic, witty rebuttals, aimed at making your partner feel like dirt or make them angrier, hurt, and insecure, you are only making things worse. The thing is, no matter who is right or wrong, everyone just wants to feel heard and understood. No one wants to feel like their opinion is inconsequential. So, validating your partner’s point of view, even when you disagree, is the best way to make sure you have a productive argument instead of one that breeds resentment and contempt.
And no, you don’t have to use these exact words. Variations like “I understand,” “I get you,” “I see your point,” and similar words going for the same effect are also a great idea.
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